As an explorer into these uncharted realms, I find that I must record what I see before me, no matter how depraved or obscene the sight may be. Only through awareness of what goes on in the mainland can we ever hope to bring civilization to its inhabitants. Therefore, I find myself reluctantly recording the events of this day, though I feel I must issue the following disclaimer:
~ Let it be known that this report should not be read by Gentlemen of an aged or failing condition, or weak constitution, who might find themselves struck by a heart attack or stroke, and so become dead due to shock! ~
~ Let it be known that this report generally should not be read by Ladies of any caliber, for it may well induce the vapours, or cause an upset in the delicate balance of the body's vital fluids! ~
~ Let it be known that this report should never be read by or to children, lest it corrupt their young minds with unscrupulous mores and thoughts of wild abandon! ~
As ordered by the Author,
Caledonian Explorer Justy Reymont,
On my explorer's intuition, I followed the boardwalk down to the shore of a nearby lake and entered a sort of building. It was quite plain on the outside, but once I crossed its threshold, I discovered what could only be described as a sort of a temple. It was dimly lit by coloured lights, which moved about in the air like an enclosed lantern tossed abour in a windstorm.
Every surface was garishly painted with bold, stark colors, and decorated with lithographic prints depicting tableus of the most unseemly excess and vice. Reclining in a number of immodest and seemingly uncomfortable poses, these caricatures smiled at us, oblivious to our shock and distaste.
As my eyes adjusted, I was astonished to discover that there were people in the room with me! Two... no, three female natives stood before me, each perched atop a raised dias. If there had once been any doubt in my mind as to the scantily-clad nature of the natives, it was now dispelled forever.
These mysterious and exotic creatures, undoubtedly shamans of whatever native cult had built this temple, were prime specimines of their native stock. Sleek, powerful, and unquestionably savage, they gyrated beneath the ever-changing lights, each moving in unison, dancing to the cacophony that bled through the walls around us.
But everything that I have recorded thus far, pales in comparison to what they did when my comrade and I finally mustered our courage, and announced our presence...
They just continued to dance, their eyes fixed straight ahead, as if my colleague and I were not there. They ignored all attempts at communication, and showed no awareness of their environment, even when I threw a pebble at one of them. Bewildered and slightly unsettled, we made our away from this nightmarish temple.
We later met some natives who spoke English, at a large gathering of natives who did not. We didn't learn much, other than that it's a jungle out there, we should not trust everything we hear, and that many of their fellow natives have "an I.Q. less than zero." Whatever that means.